It seems the Lord has to remind me often how much I need to lean on him not my own understanding. I have been in one of those struggling periods. He has been sending little messages in multiple ways that I need to seek him BEFORE the crisis.
If you read my other blog, you know we are adjusting to our in-home support staff leaving. It is normal for him to refuse to do activities that he normally did with support staff. It takes a while to get him regrouped. I am sure he is also picking up on my anxiety regarding his upcoming surgery on 9/21/06.
As I have gotten busier with Billy Ray and my work, it seemed we were in meltdowns before I got fully in touch with the Lord in the morning. I know that the Lord understands I can’t get on my knees first thing in the morning when BR is marching and that I am not a morning person so coherent conversation with him is more difficult.
Psalm 5:3 (NCV) says: “Lord, every morning you hear my voice. Every morning, I tell you what I need, and I wait for your answer." When I do that it makes such a difference in how our day plays out.
I don’t like rote prayers in general because I see prayer as a specific conversation with my Lord about who He is in our lives and the world, thanking him for what He has done for us and seeking his guidance and protection. However, I wrote one to use in those mornings when I need to get to the Father quickly and I just can’t bring up the words otherwise:
"Good morning Lord, thanks for your protection through the night
Help me to wake up as though I had a full night of sleep,
Instead of being awaken by my restless child and for periodic checks
Fill me with your energy and patience today, I am running on empty
Lord, help me to understand what my child needs today
Help me anticipate stresses that will over stimulate him and catch triggers
Remind me that difficult behavior can mean unmet needs and frustration.
Make me sensitive to what he communicates by behavior not just words.
Don’t let me get so busy taking care of my child today that I forget you.
Remind me that I need your presence for my own being not just my child’s
Stay beside me as I care for him; bring peace in the noise and activity.
Lord, please guide us through this day with your wisdom and insight.
Help me to sift through all the theories and ideas for his care.
And give me the wisdom to know what is right for my child.
Help me to communicate his needs to professionals who try to help.
Lord open the eyes and ears of the professionals to see my child clearly as he is
Let me love him in the same unconditional way that you love us.
Remind me that you have a purpose for his life and mine.
Most importantly be glorified as others see your love in my child.
In all the things we do today may thy will be done."
Before I could get that posted, I got the devotional from Proverbs 31 Woman called Crossroads written by Susanne Scheppmann and it was right on spot with what I have been thinking lately. Susanne tells of taking a wrong turn traveling and seeing a sign “Welcome to California” when she was supposed to be entering Nevada. She compares to our spiritual life as follows:
"My "detour" added an additional two hours to my long drive home. If only I had read my map or asked for directions, I wouldn't have found myself in California. I wouldn't have lost valuable time and energy.Often, I make the same mistake in my spiritual life. Big decisions loom ahead. I think I know the right course. So off I go without taking time to pray or read my Bible, and my choices go awry. Once I have strayed too far down the wrong path, I usually realize: "Oops, I should have sought God's advice."
It is the same with parenting a complex child. We have so many twists and turns in the road that we can’t see coming. The Lord does help us with those decisions when we wait until our son or daughter is on the floor in a public place or refusing to go to an important medical appointment or some other crisis. It is, however, much easier when we have asked for his guidance to understand what a child needs to be comfortable with an event and asked the Lord to calm him.
Until next time,
Peggy Lou Morgan
My Blogs: Amazon Connect and Parenting a Complex Special Needs Child
Websites: www.parentingyourcomplexchild.com and www.lighthouseparents.com
Parenting Your Complex Child Yahoo Group